it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Quick, to the slutcave!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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