i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
