today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
