I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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