he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
