Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
