she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize