he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
