Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
