it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
