found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
