Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
