from now on my penis is your penis
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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