Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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