we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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