I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
