I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You pole danced in your parka.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
PANTIES FOUND
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
