No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
