Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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