your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
