Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
God, you're like boner-b-gone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
