Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
