i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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