Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
