He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize