Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize