I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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