shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize