So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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