I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
