i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
