My sheets look like a crime scene.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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