i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
