I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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