great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it hurts more in the daytime
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
