it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
