these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
