Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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