so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
