I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize