Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
third nipple confirmed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
