there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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