Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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