He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
