Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize