3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize