i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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