I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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