she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
