Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
