moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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