well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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