Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize