You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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