walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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